subject to the transits

Expect the unexpected
This can be a somewhat disruptive influence, during which you are subject to sudden upsets or to behavior that is upsetting to others. Under this influence it is quite likely that you will not follow your normal routine as on other days. There could be an automobile breaking down unexpectedly, a sudden argument or an unexpected separation from someone. The point is that you can expect the unexpected today. You are striving to break down your everyday routine, and it would be best to find ways of doing this intentionally, rather than waiting for it to happen. Let the restless spirit within you express itself. You need new air! You may very well discover a valuable aspect of yourself that you never knew existed, because you were afraid to let it come out.

The interpretation above is for your transit selected for today:
Sun Square Uranus, ,
activity period from 4 September 2010 to 6 September 2010

Self-inquiry
Valid during several weeks: At this time you have to get in touch with your own subconscious mind, to find out how it directs your life in ways that you aren't aware of. Try to see how your actions may run counter to your conscious intentions. We all broadcast two kinds of signals to the outer world. One kind is what we think we are trying to do. The other kind, which are unconscious signals, tell people what we are really trying to do. If these two sets of signals do not coincide, it is not because you are intentionally trying to deceive, but you may confuse people or even worse, cause them to lose faith in what you are trying to do. This is not a time to be wrapped up in your ego. You must be prepared to acknowledge your faults and your virtues without fear or self-recrimination.

The interpretation above is for your transit selected for today:
Sun in the 12th House, 12,
activity period from 5 September 2010 until beginning of October 2010

Profundity
Weak, transient effect: This morning you desire experience at a very profound level and do not like superficial encounters. With friends and loved ones you seek the true meaning of your feelings for each other. Under this influence, deep-rooted feelings in a relationship are often brought to the surface. This has a therapeutic effect on most relationships, for it releases hidden energies that may be weakening the ties between you. During this time you should be careful not to set an objective for yourself and then become so obsessed by it that you lose track of everything else. Even this rather mild influence can result in a one-track mind and compulsive behavior. If this happens, it is a sign that hidden in this compulsion is a psychological energy that you should try to understand, because it could control some part of your life.

The interpretation above is for your transit selected for today:
Moon Sextile Pluto, , exact at 07:40
activity period from 6 September 2010 to 7 September 2010

Short term

Your gut feelings tend to be right on the mark today, and your power to attract what and who you want continue to run high. You're in the mood for special attention, and you are more likely to receive it if you express your affection openly and sincerely. Your more playful or even dramatic qualities are shining through now.

The New Moon today brings powerful feelings and intuitions to the surface. While insights can be dramatic, try not to say the first thing that comes to your mind for the time being. The cosmic atmosphere is ripe with misunderstandings and confusion just now. Take the time to sort out your thoughts. Venus leaves your sign today and moves into Scorpio. Affections stabilize and comfort is sought in your relationships.

Getting the job done, and getting it done right, comes more easily now than usual. It's an excellent period for tying up loose ends, organizing, editing, and tidying efforts. It's not the time to start a bold new project or to make resolutions. Get the little things out of the way and free your mind of worry and guilt.

Easy interactions and friendly gestures are likely today with the Moon in harmony to your Sun sign and assertive Mars in your sign. It's an excellent day for all things social and physical. Approval and even admiration are easy to procure just now, and being recognized as a team player works in your favor. Others are drawn to your natural confidence today.

Dinner for My Dome

My good friend lent me a book called "The 100% Brain Course (Master Manual): Creative Exercises to Develop 100% of your Brain."
Its pretty cool and contains 200+ sets of instructions on all kinds of weird shit, from calculating lightining to past life mirror regression to mind mapping to changing emotions via odors. It even includes an exercise on Time Distortion, which naturally caught my immediate interest. I already realize that I have the power to do all of these things, and some things I do already. Often I am lazy about it, though. Whenever I do experience my latent abilities to manipulate energy, astral project, distort time, perceive auras, etc., I'm often not doing it consciously, or I get scared and run from it. I run because I sense that the power may be overwhelming to my senses. I do plan to develop these abilities, but it has to be slow...there has to be some anchor in this reality, since I have a life to maintain here.


(table of contents: http://www.braincourse.com/BrainCourse.pdf)

So the book will be helpful since it lays out guidelines for developing the mental capabilities that I am interested in developing. I feel free to tweak some of the exercises depending on my own beliefs and circumstances, so there will be variations and versions of my own.

Here's a cool one that I can foresee being helpful to me:


Exercise 149 -- Headache Relief

To begin with, stop affirming your so-called headache is a headache. Call it a so-called headache. This initiates doubt for the subconscious that the pain is even really there. Next, query yourself about it. How big is it? The size of a marble, golf ball, or soft ball? Does it throb? Is the pain sharp or dull? Point to where in your head you feel it, and bring your conscious awareness to the area. Is it surface oriented or subsurface oriented? Is it long or short? Picture in your mind its appearance. Does it have a color? Is it hollow or solid? Let your answers be what first comes to your mind. Where is the so-called headache now? Continue visualizing and describing the so-called headache until it vanishes.

Preoccupation with these mental questions and answers takes the mind off the tension which brought about your head pain. Whether it is vasodilation or vasocontriction of the cranial blood vessels, just shifting your conscious awareness to the pain area brings about a more normalized blood flow, and touching the spot helps to orient your conscious awareness as to its location.

pain is an interesting experiment

I am tired, Beloved,
of chafing my heart against
the want of you;
of squeezing it into little inkdrops,
And posting it.
~Amy Lowell, "The Letter"


I never knew until that moment how bad it could hurt to lose something you never really had. ~From the television show The Wonder Years


Yes, I will go. I would rather grieve over your absence than over you. ~Antonio Porchia, Voces, 1943, translated from Spanish by W.S. Merwin


...Lost in your heart, lost in your eyes
Lost every day, no map to follow
Entire days, weeks, a blur
Flickers of light, in the darkness,
Only to be enveloped in shadows once more...
~Peter Winstanley


Giving up doesn't always mean you are weak; sometimes it means that you are strong enough to let go. ~Author Unknown


It's not love's going hurts my days
But that it went in little ways.
~Edna St. Vincent Millay


I don't know why they call it heartbreak. It feels like every other part of my body is broken too. ~Missy Altijd


Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it's better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together. ~Author Unknown


I hate the day, because it lendeth light
To see all things, but not my love to see.
~Edmund Spenser


My love-lies-bleeding. ~Thomas Campbell

The Space Between

Now that you're older
Taking the time to look
Back over your shoulder
On the days confusion took

Now that you're wiser
Surely you've learned to read it
You should know
No surface shines brighter
Than the light that burns beneath it

Never so sure
We always take more
Though we still don't know what it's for

Now that I've seen you
Stripped to the very core
I know that I need you
Less than I did before

Never so sure
We always take more
Though we still don't know what it's for

lol: pictures

dust of dust

“Not a single star will be left in the night. The night will not be left. I will die and, with me, the weight of the intolerable universe. I shall erase the pyramids, the medallions, the continents and faces. I shall erase the accumulated past. I shall make dust of history, dust of dust. Now I am looking on the final sunset. I am hearing the last bird. I bequeath nothingness to no one.”

Jorge Luis Borges

Free Energy is the Opposite of Entropy

Sometimes I do things...you know, just to do them...twist the kaleidoscope to see new colors...I like to shake shit up some days...be the catalyst for action...having no particular stake in the outcome...no marriage to an expectation...no conscious intent in mind to drive the will, letting it run free in the fields, interacting with whomever should please it.

Me, I run to hide myself in the folds of the fractal chaotic beauty that explodes all over my world...some days there is fire, some pillars are destroyed. After the explosion i pick up whatever pieces remain, weave them into the larger tapestry of my Be-ing.

Physically represented, this tapestry is my body, changed by each new piece, lengthening moment to moment, growing in entropy, one day to be completed upon the death of me, and added to the art gallery of humanity.

Thoughts on Future Memory Recall

The moment I laid eyes on you, I perceived the entire past present future of our relationship, every moment in a flash too quick for the brain to catch (up on), and then we caught up to it(the moment) got caught up in it (the moment) then got caught when they caught on

Moments are stored inside of each of us to create an entire past for each human individual. This past is present in the whole of our consciousness - taken as a whole, the collection of our past moments (grouped into a thing called memories) are a large part of what makes us individual persons. We can perceive pieces of these past moments through memory upon focus [memory recall]. Why can not the same be true of future focus [memory recall]?

Before I knew you, my senses knew of your scents. Your laugh, I heard long before the moment enfolded into time/space for my ears to hear, unfolded unto space time for my physical body to step into, live inside, pass through to become past

Moments never last but there is always one present. Philosopher Henri Bergson distinguishes between two types of memories. The first type of memory records events of daily life as they occur in time, assigning a place and date to each event along your personal timeline. When one wants to recall these moments in the past, we imagine the moment in order to recall it. For example, think back to the experience of the first time you met your first love. When we think of that event, we reconstruct it in our minds in a series of recorded images, what Bergson calls the intellectual recognition of a perception already experienced.

There are these gamepieces in the dreams...boots a party the backseat dark laps legs eyes watching....in real time, piece by pieces of events are strewn along the board, discarded garments, unassigned to time, left alone to move forward or back into squares [moments- space-time-intersections] as of yet un-known

The second type of memory that Bergson discusses is the one of action, the mechanical memory that we employ with every movement we make in our repetitive actions, moment to moment - remembering to breathe without being conscious of the need, remembering how to type these words as I type them, you knowing how to read the words that you are now reading without needing to recall learning how to read. This type of memory - let's call it integrated memory - is dynamic, because it is present simultaneously in the past present and future; constantly in a process of creation at the same time as it is being utilized because our bodies are taking in new information from the environment every moment and crystallizing it into memory then using the memory to move us into the future moment and all of this before thought of the action ever even occurs to us

and only when it occurs to you that this is memory does it become memory but it is ever present, my love. You already existed, I existed already. We observed each other and it changed everything I knew, everything that I know

I no longer believe that determinism defeats free will. I believe that the two coexist. I believe that unless I act consciously, the next moment will be determined by memory of Type 2 described above. I can either act consciously to create the next moment or next event (create the future) or I will act automatically and allow stored, integrated memory to determine the next moment/movement/action. Integrated memory is all my previous patterns, habits, mechanisms combined and prepared to decide my next move for me, should I slack. In these respects, whether pre-determined and pre-dictable or consciously created, the future is accessible and knowable to me.

We are no longer mutual observers, but I still have questions. Look into your future. Do you remember me there? If you are in mine and I am not in yours, if you are not in mine and I am in yours, whose version of reality will deserve to survive?

I believe that Bergson's Type 1 memory recall, memory of the imagination, has potential to be used as a mechanism for remembering the future. We visualize the future in much the same way that we visualize already-passed events, but we assign to these images the name of fantasy, daydreaming, and the like. What makes the difference between these past and future images, what is the distinction that allows us to call one a memory and the other a fantasy? They seem to have the same qualities - a memory recalls in the mind some event that took place in the past...we do not actually experience that past event in the memory recall; we are instead drawing up images and perhaps sensory experiences related to it, such as sounds or smells.

In a future fantasy, we visualize in the same exact way, placing ourselves in a particular setting at a particular time, attaching sensory and emotional experiences to the future event. Like the past memory, we are not physically present in the event, but we can construct it and place ourselves within it mentally, temporarily. The difference between the two is the sense of reality that we assign to memory and fantasy. Some fantasies we write off as unattainable and therefore not realistic, and some fantasies actually become future moments that become present moments when we experience it that then become past moments.

Let's start off by remembering the moment right before this one. Then try remembering the moment that is to come right after this one.

realignment

Under this influence you will be able to make changes in your immediate environment and to reform circumstances that you have been unhappily contending with for some time. You should seize any opportunities that come today to wield creative power for the good. However, it is very important to realize that these energies must be used for the improvement of all and the general good. Only incidentally should this power benefit your purely personal ends. Today you will probably have to confront the power of a group or collective that you deal with every day. But the results are not likely to be disadvantageous. You will have to realign your own intentions with the collective intentions of the group - friends, neighbors or business associates - but this will probably work to your advantage.

The interpretation above is for your transit selected for today:
Sun Sextile Pluto, , activity period from 23 August 2010 to 25 August 2010



Time for a lazy day
This influence can introduce much pleasantness into your life through good times, agreeable relationships, sexual attraction and friendship. The problems that you will confront during this time are: overindulgence, lack of self-discipline, and unwillingness to work. This influence does not fit you for demanding work or trying situations, for you are likely to be lazy and unwilling to rouse yourself. If you don't have to accomplish anything, there is nothing wrong with this mood. In fact it is a good time to take it easy. But be careful not to overindulge in food or drink; today's good feelings may be tomorrow's headache! Your creative energies are stimulated, but you may lack the creative self-discipline that can turn a random outpouring of feelings into an artistic medium and disciplined art.

The interpretation above is for your transit selected for today:
Venus Opposition Sun, , exact at 13:52 activity period from 23 August 2010 to 25 August 2010

Taz Arnold Southside feat Major

Taz Arnold of Sa-Ra Creative Partners. I think I'm in love with this video. One, his sense of style is no less than enlightened and inspirational, as usual. 2. This song is bad ass, too. Funky beat, the flow is nice. 3. It looks so fun. I really like videos like this, where its kinda raw, cut up all crazy, has an amateur feel to it, interspersed with random moments. The b/w contrasts are dope, as are the images of beautiful Blackness. I also like the concept of just gathering a bunch of friends and hangin out and having fun, doing what you do, and looking real flyy and cool while doing it.